This has been the longest week of my life.
I haven't had much time to think, which has wrecked my state of consciousness. Not only is there the shock of being away from home, but also I haven't been able to actually study like I used to which makes me extremely nervous. The summer semester is harder, they said. It'll be easier in the fall, they said.
I've felt like I've had the flu all week. Aching muscles from carrying the 20+ lb. bag nearly everywhere I go. Aching stomach when I wake up, when I eat, and when I go to bed. If I could get away with it, I thought, I'd just bend over and puke my guts out and get it over with.
Tuesday night felt like it had been 2 weeks. Thursday night felt like it had been a month. I'm reeling, and I have one day "off" left to finish going over and doing the things I need to before Week 2 starts. I can't even begin to describe the shit I have to do, and I don't have time to, either. I have to write an essay for my online class and then get some sleep so I can refresh my math tomorrow and read in my Biology book, and write out a schedule. That made me feel a bit better. But I cannot express enough how extremely overwhelmed I am. This isn't funny. Go ahead and call me weak or whatever. I'm going to try and last as long as I can, but reality hit me as hard as it could this week. I don't have time for anything else, and everything else seems like a joke. I might have enjoyed it if I had more time to think it over. More family issues are arising while I'm away, too. Plenty of them. I'm practically helpless in that regard. I feel like I can't do anything for anyone right now, and that's the worst feeling.
but I have to hurry now. I just hope I can get what I need to do done, otherwise Week 2 is going to be a repeat of Week 1 with dire implications.
Oh, and my birthday is in 3 days and I don't even care.
You may never hear from me again.